A birthday is the start of another 365 days journey around the sun and I get to enjoy the ride. I am a year older, bolder, and more grateful today that I get to take another trip around the sun. I have always liked the notion of journeying around the sun, an idea taken from a hallmark movie of all things. The birds woke me up with a sweet song, the sun shine radiantly through my windows and the cool breeze gently tap me to wake up to a brand new day and I really feel fortunate to see the sun, shine bright with a bit of breeze and chill.
Only God is worthy of all my praises and adoration today. He gave me peace in times of troubles, soothes my pain, put a smile on my face during my sad days and also gave me sunshine in my cloudy days. Dear self, you have really done so good and so well and you really deserve all the good things that come your way. You have survived one more year of struggles, laughter, and love. Congratulations on passing out in flying colors. You are a trademark on your own and you have what it takes to build an empire for yourself. This birthday serves as a reminder that you have enjoyed the full grace of the Lord and that you indeed deserve to be celebrated.
I look around at all the wonderful friends and family that I have and all of the lovely birthday messages I have received, I have been so blessed. I look forward to another year of my life.
It was just past dusk on the beach and like every evening, Lady prepared to head back to her apartment as she usually does after watching the sunset except this evening it felt different. Maybe it was the whisper of cool breeze in the air or maybe it was the unconscious handsome man with poise skin and curious clothing she was about to discover laying on the beach. A man who would open her mind to new possibilities and her body to new feelings.
He opened his eyes at last and as he spoke Lady kept looking at him, admiring his alluring eyes, enticing skin, and mesmerizing lips. She finally uttered; fine wine? I don’t understand, said Lady. Which don’t you understand? fine or wine? The man asked. He continued talking and this time Lady actually listened. She could hear his enthralling voice citing how captivating she is and praising her beauty but all she longed to ask was if his heart was beating as fast as hers was but was too afraid of the answer that all she managed to say was ‘What is your name, kind sir’? Arthur, he replied.
As it got darker, Arthur stood up, preparing to leave with a goodbye. With a heavy heart, Lady stood beside Arthur as he got into his car. As he prepared to take off, he said to Lady it was very nice talking to you Lady. Lady softly whispered “please don’t go”, but it was too late the engine had already started and off Arthur went. She stood there still and frozen like a time traveler as she could not bear the thought of not seeing Arthur ever again after such a great connection then she heard a car engine stops. She turned her head to look and there he was, Arthur came back for her. Wiping her eyes she asked, you came back? I could not see a future without you ‘said Arthur’.
Nowadays, human skin is of the utmost importance when people judge someone as “beautiful”. Men think female beauty and light complexion signal youth, health, and fertility. Women are the most self-conscious about their complexion; they spend a lot of money, effort and time trying to gain a lighter complexion or regain their youthful appearance. They want flawless, light skin without a hint of black. And the black complexioned ones hate their own skin and are not comfortable in it because society is influencing our outlook at every turn. Technology advancement (movies, tv) has made it easier to influence us from anywhere in the world and we are using social media “filters” to define ourselves. In a better world, beauty would be irrelevant but unfortunately, in our world, it is our most valued asset. We live in a world fixated on defining ourselves based on complexion and appearance. Colorism is real.
To me, the complexion is incredibly complex.
Baby girl, there is nothing wrong with your complexion. Stop constantly criticizing your skin tone, own it. If you can not own it as a quality on your body then own it as a flaw on your body so no one can use it against you (whichever works better for you). Because like it or not, that complexion is you. You are stunningly beautiful just the way you are. You should flex in your complexion, find confidence from not only education, employment, and financial independence but your complexion as well. You are here in this world, you have a purpose { and it is not to be self-conscious about your complexion}, you are beautiful and you are valued. You are strong, you are beautiful and there is no erasing you.
What matters is, you were unconditionally approved by the Almighty God and He is pleased with you. Stand strong in your thoughts about yourself and your complexion knowing that you were chosen and approved. Now, give me a smile in that flawless complexion of yours. 😀
“You are so boney, you will look better with a little meat on your arse!?”
As if my own insecurities aren’t enough, outsiders always make it worse with their unsolicited opinions. “why don’t I have big boobs like my friends do? why do all my bones poke out at every angle? where are my hips? why am I so skinny?” Body worries were the closest thing to my mind. WELL, I’M FED UP WITH IT!
I’m a size 4…
Why do the bones on my body bother you so much? Why does my not gaining weight make you want to make it the topic of conversation (“do you eat”? “you are so skinny” “you need fat”? and very quick to follow up with which sound to be comforting to you “girl! I wish I was your size” as if that is supposed to make me forget the negative comments you just made about my body, about me. You see, I am naturally thin. I tried adding extra calories, eating junk food but nothing worked. One day it dawned on me as to why I am doing all those things, to please people? to make them accept me? why can’t I just enjoy the body God gave me? I mean, don’t get me wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working out and being fit, but we ALL must learn to love our own bodies for what they are.
We have allowed the idea of a “perfect body” to take over our lives. Your body is perfect the way it is, just love it. I will keep shining regardless of my size, my bones or the comments you make about me. I will keep struggling in and out of my jeans each day and loving it because my body and I are one. My body and I are now self-aware and body-aware, we have made progress but we still have a long way to go. We now, my body and I, aim for health not skinny or fat. We remind each other (my body and I) every day that the number on the scale can swing up or down, but it doesn’t have much to do with enduring happiness. Here we are; my body and I, intertwined, taking a leap to an unknown destination and we have got each other.
Pass it on to others and let them sink their teeth into (do not bite too hard, this is not a debate).
She grew up being applauded by her family for always excelling in her studies, and she has never experienced failure in her life. She finally got to University, after studying so hard to matriculate and finally go relax at University as she’s been told: “University is the place to relax and do as you please”. She was rather enjoying university in her first semester as she got there because she would come to class only when she felt like it. The CA mark time came and she was not worried to see how little her CA’s were, as she qualified for her exams, unaware of the consequences. She was still hooked on having fun and watching movies day and night even after having failed her second-year major module. She had no purpose, no goals to achieve as she thought she has reached her destination already having made it to university.
She was not worried because she kept telling herself there are plenty of people who have made it in the corporate world without a degree none what so ever, like her favorite aunt who was her biggest role model and inspiration at the time. Unfortunately, that was just the beginning of her trauma, her favorite aunt’s life was turned around when she lost her job and she had to watch her struggle at home unable to get a job because of a lack of education/qualifications there-of. Reality came to hit her even harder when she found out she had failed her major module for the second time and she had to re-do it as she could not proceed to do her third year modules as many had the major module as a prerequisite, and she had to watch all her friends and mates all in the third year while she remained behind, doing only two modules. She knew she had screwed up because she has to inform her parents and she knew it would disappoint them so much as they had so much confidence and high praise of her, being the first to go to university in the entire family, she knew what their expectations of her were. Her uncle was furious and disappointed in her for failing and lying to him about it.
In shock and panic of going through the failure face for the first time in her life, she could not handle it. Her self-confidence and self-esteem were crushed so hard. But as time went by and the situation seemed to only get worse as each day passed she realized that she had to pull herself together and graduate to prove to herself that she can do it and mostly to make her parents proud, as they had invested a lot in her studies and were at the verge of giving up the idea of her graduating.
Her efforts and dedication started paying off as she was passing her assignments and tests because she had one purpose and one purpose only ‘to pass all her modules and graduate’. She never thought of what happens after graduation as she just assumed she will get a job immediately that will be paying her more than N$18 000 because she’s a graduate with an honors degree. Little did she know that the corporate world doesn’t work like that. She finally passed all her modules and congratulations were in order. She was so keen to work for a bank and be called a banker that the only opportunities she was looking for had to have banked at the end. Unfortunately for her, having done no internship, any volunteer work what so ever, no company would take an inexperienced university graduate. To make matters worse, she would only apply a few permanent posts because she believed in the idea that once you get a permanent job, you are safe. The pressure was starting to build up from home as everyone around her thought she was just not serious with job hunting, I mean ‘how hard is it to get a job with a degree’? So they thought. A year went by without a job as she was used to her comfort zone of lying down watching movies all day, all night and demand of what she wanted to eat with no drive and goals in life. She was used to being spoiled; she forgot she was no longer in university because she still looked up to her parents for taxi fare, food, cosmetics, etc.
All hope was lost until her old friend from Junior school approached her introducing her to the new platform she had just founded which provides people with international opportunities “fellowships, internships and many other study programs” she regained her confidence and started applying for these internships, and job opportunities. She finally got an internship, satisfied easily and with no purpose, she settled for the internship and became comfortable and passed on the opportunity to work for a bank when the opportunity finally presented itself. Comfort zone is a disease and I urge you dear reader to try, by all means, to challenge yourself whenever you feel you are getting comfortable. Do not! do not! let yourself get “too” comfortable. It’s easy to lose focus when you have no vision or goals to achieve. She started to panic when she realized the contract was coming to an end and she had stopped looking for other opportunities. Luckily, she teamed up with her colleagues and persuaded the company to extend their contract which they did. After the extension, she still had no new offer although she kept trying.
The bottom line is, do not panic if you realize you do not know what you want in life, you will figure it out eventually. Just start small, you can even start by writing down the things that make you happy. Read all sorts of books if you have to until you discover the ones you enjoy reading best. Listen to podcasts and success stories until you find your inspiration, etc. just don’t give up on yourself and never stop trying. Because you can only achieve a goal if you set one in the first place. So, set a goal, work on achieving it. Love yourself enough to always be truthful to yourself especially when no one is around, fall in love with who you’re creating and enjoy your transformation process. Let go of the idea that a degree, office job, and an airplane selfie is all there is to life. Explore other dimensions, go where nobody has gone before and whatever you do (whether it has been done already or not) do it greater.
I was full of insecurities, hooked on the idea of perfection at all times. I feared criticism and I never liked change (yes I shared a whole lot of inspiring quotes about it but it never sat well within me). I was living a lie and it got to a point where I had lied to myself so much that I believed my own lies. In my mind, I always thought that spoiled, have it all and independent ladies were a source of attraction to all genders (boys especially). so I pretended to be this spoiled, independent wise girl who had it all. But the truth was, I was unemployed at the time and could barely support myself much less have it all, damn I didn’t even know who I was. I was a confused girl, living a lie which I believed to be true. I admired hard-core movie villains so much (my favorite was Christian Bach who played Antonia Guerra in a Telemundo series ‘La Patrona’) that I believed I was also a villain in my own life. just a heartless, hard-core, unemotional woman who had nothing to gain from other beings. I played such an amazing character I forgot that this was my real life and not some movie. I even bragged about being heartless as if it was something to be proud of. I had a hard time letting go of the child I had grown out of that I relied on my parents for everything I needed. I never wanted to acknowledge the fact that I was a grown up and it was time for me to be my own woman and be independent.
As some people at 21-22 years of age want to have their own apartment, a job and being completely on their own, I was not one of them. I had no dreams, goals, ambitions what so ever, I just sat around the house complaining when my aunt didn’t buy me something I wanted (yep! my family is that patient and accommodating which is not bad per se but it never pushes one out of their comfort zone). I was getting all I wanted and ate well so why should I get a job? for what? I watch movies all day all night and didn’t get to cook much so basically my life was perfect and I loved my comfort. It was my right that my parents be responsible for me, at least that’s what I believed. poverty was staring at me right in the face but I convinced myself that I was only a child so what could I do? I would spend most of my time wishing and daydreaming that I met a wealthy boy, had a dramatic fairytale like the movies and finally lived happily ever after in wealth [sad part was, in all my fairytale daydreams, I always married a rich boy and never in one of them was I working or had a business but I was a fashion icon in all of them]. I basically lived in denial all my life.
I was really excellent at bragging. always playing victim to circumstances I created, blaming others but for me, for situations, I found myself in even though I’m at fault and I presented a wrong image of me. I may have portrayed the wrong image of myself to a lot of people because I was trying too hard to be liked by everyone. And as much as I told people I didn’t care what people thought of me ‘I DID’. I could never fully explore life because I was scared. I would compare myself to other people (which you should never do, take it from me. You will never be content with your self and you will never be enough if you live to compete with anybody else other than yourself). I looked down on people who I thought were beneath me (be humble and treat everyone with respect or else life will humble you and believe me ‘Karma is a bitch’).
I was always a dreamer growing up, I always dreamt I will work hard and one day own a beautiful mansion at top of a mountain hill somewhere where I will move my whole extended family to live with me and get each and every one of them a job in my successful company. But as I grew, telling people my dream, fear started to creep in, hearing people tell me “that will never happen or that is just a dream or keep wishing life is hard”. I lost focus of that dream girl, I started lowering my expectations and dreams to fit reality. I thought to myself if life is so hard and all the celebrities I follow on social media are prosperous and seem to be doing better and better each and every day, how about I fake it till I make it?! Little did I know I was faking it that much, my head got consumed by the idea of likes and comments on social media platforms. I felt validated and valued when a person commented “looking nice” that all I would think about was taking pictures, and more pictures that the only thing that finished up storage in my phone was pictures. I had about 2000 pictures on my phone of me and every time I take another shoot it will become so hard choosing which ones to delete {believe it or not, choosing which pictures to delete, which ones to upload on which account was the hardest decision I had to make in a day}. I am very photogenic so almost every picture came out nice, I just had to make an extra effort to ensure the background was breathtaking so that the caption can sell it well. I would take pictures in formal clothes and tell people I have a job but I was just an inexperienced graduate who spent so much time taking pictures and watching movies I didn’t even have time to do internships. My social media life was booming, But, in reality, I was jobless, broke and very unhappy.
I have come to realize now that people don’t really care what you do with your life. Yes, they may sympathize with you, pretend to like you for as long as it serves their needs but they will talk; but I mean, people always talk, whether you do good deeds or bad deeds, they will talk. It is their right, after all, that is why the constitution speaks of “Freedom of Speech and Expression”. So, why worry or care about what they say? it is only their opinion. If you know and understand that, then let it be just that “Their Opinion” and “Not your Opinion” and therefore should not dictate your life and how you live it.
THREE QUESTIONS THAT CHANGED MY PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE:
If I was not scared, what would I do?
If I were dying, would I worry about this?
Should I be focused on today or tomorrow?
Jack Ma said: “If you put Bananas and Money in front of Monkeys, Monkeys will choose Bananas because monkeys do not know that money can buy a lot of Bananas. In reality, if you put money and health in front of people, people tend to choose money because too many people do not know that health can bring more money and happiness”.
I decided to express myself in this piece. I am allowing myself to feel and let go. I can no longer deprive myself of happiness, peace, and tranquility just to be a people pleaser. Perfect girl, I let you go… You are free, free to feel weak, free to feel vulnerable, free to get messy, free to be you, and most importantly free to live for greatness! Just one more thing; There is literally nothing in nature that blooms all year long (even the sun has to set) so, do not expect yourself to. I will no longer stand in your way to shine, to be the best version of yourself. Fly! fly! fly! little miss imperfect, go on and live your life. Exprole! travel! fall in love! cut your hair! read books! drink wine! exercise! OR NOT! who cares? it is your life.
And she lived happily & natural {Nappilly} ever after.
Certain things hang on forever, stop child murder.
She was so innocent and yet you took her away. I may not have known her personally but you had no right to take her life either. What has our world turned into? Tragedies, crimes, murder, violence and brutal killing are all I read in the papers nowadays. What happened to piece, harmony and togetherness? What good is it to be an independent country, living in a free world if there isn’t real freedom? What could she have possibly done wrong to deserve such brutality? You are killing our future generation, the reason we are working hard and making all the necessary sacrifices for. Could it be riches, or is it worth you are after? How happy will you be if you gain your riches with a guilty conscience and sleepless nights? I cry out to my nation, let’s not be the (Mr or Miss better off untold). It’s that ability to express a feeling like the one that arrives quickly after the loss of a loved one that shows we are embracing our humanity “Silence will linger around, till you decide to say something”.
“All attack is called Self Defense.” Humanity has been trying to figure out how to bring an end to war since living beings evolved into self-consciousness on this planet. From those very first moments, we have found reasons to oppose each other. From those very first moments, we have found reasons to fight each other. From those very first moments, we have found reasons to kill each other. It has never stopped, from those very first moments to this very moment. I would venture to say that there has not been one day — not one single day — since the beginning of recorded history when one human being has not killed another. And I don’t mean by accident. I mean deliberately, with purposeful intent.
Not one
Single
Day
…in thousand and thousands of years.
And as I write this, the talk is of another possible child kidnapping case which is uncertain if the child will be discovered unharmed or not (just praying he’s safe where ever he is). All that matters today is what it would take to end the killing, to end the aggression and counter-aggression that is threatening to embroil a whole region — and even, conceivably, the entire world at some level, if not directly — in a war that could prove unspeakably tragic for the entire human race. I have always thought that any human problem can be solved by talking about it and acting on it. I still believe that. But we have to talk about the right things. There are some who say that human beings cannot — simply cannot, for reasons of biology, genetics, you name it — stop themselves from needing to be right…to say nothing of killing each other over their differences. And the problem becomes, what do you do when the other party won’t listen? What’s left when all the talking has achieved nothing? When one or both parties are intractable? When no one will give an inch? Or when one gives an inch and the other takes advantage of it?
How do you solve it when talking simply does not, will not, has not, and cannot?
The answer is that we all need to talk more — but in an entirely different way. We need, as an entire group called humanity, to talk about not what is going on, but why.
And that is something that no one wants to talk about. Or, at least, very few people do. Because it is going to put the spotlight on — and maybe even asking people to change — beliefs. And that is something that many people would rather die than do. And so, they are achieving exactly that outcome. Conversations with God famously said, “No one does anything inappropriate, given their model of the world.” This is the same as saying that everybody believes that they are acting correctly — given the way they see themselves and see life at any given moment. What humanity needs to do, then, is talking about its model of the world. When our model of the world, our whole idea about Life and what it is and what it’s for and how it works and why it exists and who and what God is (if there even is a “God” at all) — when the whole construction produces nothing but anger, crisis, violence, killing, and war…and has done so for thousands of years…isn’t it time to question some prior assumptions? We need to talk about Who We Are and what we believe and how we imagine life to be and where we as a species wish to go, and when we are willing to do what it takes to get there. And we need to request, invite, plead, beg, implore, entreat, petition, ask, call on, and beseech our world’s leaders in government, politics, economics, religion, the military, education, and every area of human endeavor to place these subjects at the top of their agenda. We need to call these the Five Required Topics at any meeting that any of them have about anything whatsoever anywhere in the world at any time. Let’s call upon our leaders now, right now. Our world’s leaders need someone to lead them. We thought they were going to lead us, but they can’t, or won’t. So we need to lead them.
You know who to write to. Write to them. You know whom to contact. Contact them. Then post The Agenda to save Humanity from itself on every website, in every newspaper or magazine Letters-to-the-Editor column, on every feedback forum of every television show, every week of your life. Do it. Once a week, every week.
Are you willing to do it?
To the Grieving Family: May knowing you’re in the hearts and thoughts of others help you and yours through this time of sorrow. Although no words can really help to ease the loss you bear, just know that you are very close in every thought and prayer. Extending my deepest sympathy to you, for your loss and hoping, too, that comfort and peace may come to you. Words, however kind, can’t mend your heartache: but those who care and share your loss wish you comfort and peace of mind. May you find strength in the love of family and in the warm embrace of friends. There’s a very special garden where the trees of memory grow Nurtured by the kindness and concern that good friends show. The roots are cherished memories of good times in the past. The branches tender promises that souls endure and last. It’s a place of peace and beauty Where bright new hopes can start It’s memory’s lovely garden that soothes the hurting heart.
She grew up being applauded by her family for always excelling in her studies, and she has never experienced failure in her life. She finally got to University, after studying so hard to matriculate and finally go relax at University as she’s been told: “University is the place to relax and do as you please”. She was rather enjoying university in her first semester as she got there because she would come to class only when she felt like it. The CA mark time came and she was not worried to see how little her CA’s were, as she qualified for her exams, unaware of the consequences. She was still hooked on having fun and watching movies day and night even after having failed her second-year major module. She had no purpose, no goals to achieve as she thought she has reached her destination already having made it to university.
Living Human Being To Greatness 